What in the name of basketball does the NBA have against Kobe Bryant? They suspended him for fouling Marko Jaric on a play that even Jaric said he thought was unintentional! What is wrong with these No Brain Association people?!
When I think of the Super Bowl, I think of many things, football, commercials, Janet Jackson, but pretty colors and weird music are not among them. Neither are you Prince.
You have the most manly, good old “American” four hours of television of the year, and you fill it with Cirque du Soleil?! Honestly, I can’t imagine what the Super Bowl coordinators were thinking. When people watch the Super Bowl, they do not want to see anything un-American, least of all French. It’s not that I have anything against the French, but, to quote British comedian Eddy Izzard, “they do have a tendency to be, you know, French”
Actually, I have a lot of respect for the performers in Cirque Du Soleil, it takes a great deal of coordination to do whatever it is they do. Still, that does not mean that I condone their performance during the pre-game show of a Super Bowl.
As for the football aspect of the Super Bowl, and yes, those of you who may watch the game solely for its commercials, it is actually a football game, not only a commercial filled halftime show.
I can sum up the reason why the Indianapolis Colts beat the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl 41 by a 29-17 score in two words: Rex Grossman.
I can sum up his performance in two words: gross, man!
Actually, if you look at Grossman’s quarterback stats, he wasn’t all that bad. He only threw eight incomplete passes, compared to twenty complete, and if you count the one which he happened to throw to the wrong team, he had two TD passes. His QB rating of 63.8 beats his season low by 63.8. (Grossman recorded the NFL’s first-ever 0.0 quarterback rating on New Year’s Eve against the Green Bay Packers.)
Oh, let’s not forget his two fumbled snaps. If I was being kind to Grossman, I would say that fumbling the snap is about one percent the fault of the center. But that would be too kind for Grossman.
Actually, I gotta hand it to him (what’s the point, he’d drop it anyway). He did provide me with a boatload of laughs. (Speaking of a boat, the teams on the field could have used one with all the rain that fell over the course of the game)
Moving on to more examples of how Rex Grossman just plain failed. On one of the snaps which he dropped, he tried to pick it up, and it actually fell through his legs a second time. That was really, really funny.
The Super Bowl as a whole however—not too funny. This is sad, considering it had so much potential, so much firepower on the field. And yet, the rain doused the firepower. This was the most evenly matched Super Bowl in as long as I can remember, and it ended nothing short of a blowout. Although it was really only a 12-point game, as far as momentum and domination are concerned, it might as well have been a 1,200-point game. It wouldn’t have made a difference.
But what else is new? Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre is returning for another season (his 17th season, and 16th as a starter for Green Bay), Rex Grossman choked in a big game, and the Bear’s Devin Hester ran back a kickoff for a touchdown. (In a related story, the sky is blue.)
Wait, let me get this straight. Kobe got suspended because he whacked a guy in the face? Whether or not it was intentional isn't even the issue, entirley. Last year,when Raja Bell slammed Kobe to the floor, by his neck, he was suspended for one game, and the league heard an appeal. Now, Kobe probably accidentily whacks a guy in the face, isn't even whistled for a four, let alone a tech or a flagrant, and is suspended for one game, and the league refuses to hear an appeal. Huh?
Why would David Beckham, possibly the world’s most famous football player sign with the LA Galaxy, an okay-at-best team in a mediocre league?
I can give you 250 million reasons why.
Other than his record-breaking five-year, $250 million deal, Beckham and his beautiful wife Victoria are a perfect fit for LA, considering his star status (oh the irony, a star playing for the Galaxy) and his gobs and gobs (and now 250 million more gobs) of money.
But what does this mean for the Galaxy organization? I’ve come up with a list of several things this means for them.
For one, the addition of Beckham to the roster probably means that the team’s female fan base has just quadrupled. This probably means that the owners of the Galaxy’s stadium, the Home Depot Center, will have to double the number of women’s restrooms.
It also means that since Beckham’s wife will probably be attending multiple games and therefore may appear on the stadium’s big screen, possibly doubling the team’s male fan base.
The players also must to brace themselves for the attacks of the English press, who will undoubtedly be jumping at every opportunity to expose the team for what it really is: mediocre.
Perhaps the biggest thing the Galaxy has to prepare for, is the date that Beckham retires, and people resume not caring about football in Los Angeles. The Galaxy must take a lesson from the former North American Soccer Association, who experienced a jolt in popularity in the late 1970s due to the hiring of football legend Pele, along with other stars from around the world.
Pele played for the New York Cosmos, ironically another astronomically talented player playing for a team with an astronomy-related name. Although the Cosmos, and the rest of the league did enjoy temporary popularity which rivaled the other New York (American) football teams, they league folded in 1984, almost immediately after Pele and co. retired.
One also needs to wonder where in the world the Galaxy came up with $250 million. Beckham’s ginormous salary is equal to 25 times what the rest of the team is making...combined.
Here, the Galaxy should look to the Cosmos for advice. Before hiring Pele, the Cosmos played on a field which was more dirt than grass. Actually, they spray painted the field green for Pele’s arrival to try and make him think he was playing on grass. Somehow the Cosmos found enough money to pay Pele, so maybe the Galaxy can find an extra 250 million laying around.
What does this mean for the quality of play the Galaxy will put on the pitch (American translation: field)? It means that their right attacking midfielder (if that’s where Beckham will play in LA) will be amazing, and the rest of the team will continue to be, well, the LA Galaxy. We can probably expect to see an increase in scoring, due to Beckham bending inch perfect crosses like, well, Beckham.
In addition, we may see an increase in diving by the Galaxy players, since their shiny new toy that is David Beckham is so precise on free kicks. We should also be prepared to see corner kicks as they were meant to be taken.
So far, it seems like the Galaxy will benefit from Beckham, but will probably fall to the ground hard when he retires. But my biggest hope as a fan of the Galaxy is that I never have to hear the reunion tour of Beckham’s wife’s group the, Spice Girls, singing the national anthem. Not because they aren’t American, but because hey—who really wants to hear the Spice Girls?
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